Your church may be quietly driving away one of its most vital groups.

Most churches treat singles as people waiting for their "real life" to begin. The subtle message: marriage is full devotion to God; singleness is the consolation prize. But in a recent piece for Christianity Today, theologian and researcher Danielle Treweek challenges one of the most commonly held assumptions in the church, and her argument has direct implications for how you build a thriving, engaged congregation.

Treweek's case centers on 1 Corinthians 7:32–35, the passage most often used to argue that single Christians have more time and capacity for ministry than married ones. Her reading, informed by early church fathers like Chrysostom and Augustine, reframes Paul's intent entirely: he's not saying married people can't match the devotion of singles. He's warning both groups against distraction from wholehearted devotion to God. The call to "undivided devotion to the Lord" applies equally to everyone.

What this means for your church: How you frame singleness shapes how your singles experience your community. If the implicit message is that singles are spiritually underutilized support staff waiting to graduate into "real" discipleship through marriage, you'll lose them and the engagement, leadership, and relational depth they bring. Churches that grow in health and depth make every person, regardless of relationship status, feel fully seen, fully needed, and fully at home. Three ways to act on this:

What Makes Families Stay—and Grow | Barna Research

New Barna data on family resilience offers a quiet challenge to how churches think about ministry impact. Only 14% of married parents meet Barna's criteria for a resilient family, and the factors that set them apart aren't wealth, stability, or the absence of conflict. Resilient families repair relationships after hard moments, seek support when they're struggling, and participate consistently in community life beyond their household. Church attendance and serving together rank among the strongest predictors of family connection in the entire dataset.

Consider this week: Your Sunday gathering is one of the primary places where family resilience gets built. Are you giving families shared experiences, not just individual ones?

Ministry Belongs to Everyone | Outreach Magazine 

A Lifeway Research survey of over 1,000 rural pastors found that 53% feel their congregation expects them to carry most of the church's work. The average rural church is missing lay leaders in at least two of seven core ministry areas. And yet, when researchers asked these same pastors to define ministry success, their top four answers all centered on shared work: members caring for one another, broken relationships being healed, consistent presence, and laypeople stepping into leadership.

Consider this week: Where are you carrying something alone that was meant to be carried together? Identifying one ministry area to hand off this month is discipleship in action.

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